a new nightgown for Christmas

Are you like me?   Crafting, knitting, sewing, baking, cooking, enjoying?  It is not stressful.  It's not supposed to be anyway.  We lose the joy in it if it becomes a chore.  Its more like a very exciting, "what shall I complete today?" wish list, ball of fun, kind of thing for me right now.   And, if baby is born sooner than later or if I catch the flu and only want to watch movies for days, its fine, whatever does not get done.  It really would be fine...I will pick it all up again later.  Its just too fun to worry about a deadline.  Now, reading from our Advent calendar every night?  We do have to catch up on some nights for that but it is enjoyable with a new reader in the family.  He even gets out his Bible to read directly from the text!  Such a blessing.

I knit while my husband drives. Some of my favorite chat time with him along the way is while knitting and trusting him completely with the driving.  I love it. We attended my aunt and uncles 50th Wedding Anniversary toast in Bellaire Sunday night at their son and daughter's-in-law home.  I was able to craft a handwritten toast but did not read it aloud.  The other two three toasts that were said or read aloud were so emotional, it seemed all needed a break from it for awhile.  I surely would have become emotional too if I read mine.  I added it to the pile of cards they received.  They were married on December 23rd. They have a great romance.  A real one.  A sweet one.  They are heading out for a trip to Ireland together soon.  Such a wonderful reunion with them all, the cousins, the aunts and uncles.  Especially since they are all adopted aunts and uncles.  They don't have brothers or sisters, my aunt and uncle, so their high school friends, my father being one at the time, and my mother as mom and dad were dating and then married three years after my aunt and uncle, were, adopted long, long ago and they are still friends today.  The children, including my sister and I, and their children, do not see each other often, maybe once a year, but we still savor memories of years past and enjoy catching up for now.  It was so enjoyable to talk about my impending birth, my newborn to come in just weeks.  I am an "older" mother....all of them are finished with their families and have a couple of children each who are as tall as me (not a challenge) so I kind of enjoy that I am trailing behind with my little crew..the youngest batch of children and the aunts and uncles just love it and love to see them too.  So fun.  Who doesn't love a baby?

My crafting is highly motivated by this little crew of ours.  I want to see them running around in handmade anything.  Brings me such happiness.  Makes the making merrier.  So I am still, yes, six days, well, five days, before Christmas, making Christmas jammies!  This is Tessa's.  From Anna Maria Horner's Folksy Flannels line which is hard to find but you can search online..I picked up some on sale recently and a McCalls pattern here.  It is easy. It is sweet.  It is, uh, a little big!  She will likely be wearing it into next Christmas in fact but thats okay..she does not like anything to be too tight.

The boys are next.  Fabric is also AMH folksy flannel.  Its washed, patterns cut, fabric cut, just waiting for boys to be out of sight.  Maybe tonight?  Went to see a cousin yesterday at my folks house, to exchange gifts, play, talk, knit.  Got my cousin's daughter this book, The Mitten, by Jan Brett.  I would love to own almost all of those Brett books.  So good.  Have you read Christmas Trolls?  Pick it up..fun!

will check in again....got to show you that knitting work for sure!   ~Traci

knit for me

After completing the knitting of, care labeling for washing of and, Christmas gift wrapping of three handknits to be mailed today out of state, I lurched into something unplanned on my sewing and knitting plan still "to do" for Christmas before a new baby.  Phew, it was fun!

I cast this one on last night for me.  I rarely knit for me.  I have only one large handknit for me, a cardigan and I don't like it so it is "hibernating" until I decide to rip it out and reuse the yarn or save it eternally to show my daughter one day, when she thinks I am an amazing knitter (after years of dawdling in it, which I very much plan to do) and can see that I was not always, perfect.  Maybe it will encourage her.  So, cheers to the Razorshell Neckwarmer from Wanett Clyde.  Notes here on Ravelry.

Update from Martin ~ Merry Christmas

Gunnar's second Christmas ~ 2004, as he was two weeks old on his first one.

Luke 2:7-16

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn

And in the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night

And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were terribly frightened

And the angel said unto them, do not be afraid; for behold I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people.

For today in the city of David there is born for you a Savior who is Christ the Lord

This will be the sign for you; you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger

And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying

Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased

When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, "Let us go straight to Bethlehem then and see this thing that has happened
which the Lord has made known to us

So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

John 10:28
And I give eternal life to them, and they shall never perish; and no one shall snatch them out of My hand

I Tim 2:6
Who gave himself a ransom for all

Rom 6:23
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.


Hi everyone,

Christmas is but a few days away and the passages quoted above are why we have the reason for the season.

Yesterday was another milestone for us at MD Anderson. We had three appointments and spent the morning at the hospital. It was a very productive and encouraging time.

We saw my dental surgeon who worked on my "new mouth". It was ready for us to try out. The purpose of the obturator is to cover the cavity in my mouth where bone and tissue has been removed and give me the ability to speak, swallow, eat and drink. The new mouth required some modifications after we got it in. It has three hooks that attach to the teeth in my upper jaw. Once we had it in, I was able to speak with a lot more clarity which was a tremendous boost.

My surgeon also gave me a compliment that was overwhelming. He is a US Army veteran who fought in Vietnam when he was a young man. He told Traci and I that from time to time he will look at a person to determine if he would have wanted them in his squad. He told us that I would have made his squad. That compliment from a Vietnam combat veteran was very meaningful to me and one that I will always remember.

Our next visit was with a specialist in the speech pathology dept. to make sure that I could swallow. My swallowing capability had been dormant and there was concern that I would have problems with food or drink going down the wrong pipe. The good news there is that everything still works. However, I will have to retrain myself to eat and drink because of several challenges. I have lost some ability to control some of the muscles in my lips which is creating a challenge.

I also cannot completely seal my mouth so food and liquids have a tendency to take some different routes. This is and will be a source of amusement for the family at the dinner table. I do know that I will win the "messiest eater award" each and every time. To handle this challenge, I will have to learn how to eat again with my new mouth.

I am also having to learn how to chew again as my lower jaw has been dormant for so long. The lower and upper jaw do not line up and so I am having to remind my jaw to line up and guide the teeth to actually meet and accomplish the chewing assignment. It sounds simple, however, at the moment it is not as easy as one would think.

I was given the green light to proceed with eating and drinking and the goal is to be able to sustain myself within three weeks and thus have the gastric tube removed.

Our final visit was with the pain management dept. to review what medications I was taking for pain and what changes we should consider. My physical therapy regimen each day of forcing the lower jaw to the opposite side of the surgical area is creating pain. Add to that the healing process with nerves and tissues reconnecting and that sometimes creates a raging inferno in my mouth.

We ended the day by eating at the hospital. I had mashed potatoes with country gravy (delight), a little macaroni and cheese and some Italian noodles. I also had one of my favorite deserts, a chocolate parfait. What a milestone!

I will be going back to MDA for some additional checkups for the next few weeks and to remove my gastric tube. I will have another progress report at a later date.

Thank you for the ongoing prayer support and also for words of encouragement that we have received. We are also grateful for the logistical support that we have been blessed to receive as well.

We wish all of you a merry Christmas and that we can all be thankful for the greatest gift we will ever, the gift of salvation which is why we celebrate Christmas.

Semper Fi

Martin, Traci, Gunnar, Winston and Tessa

Christmas mess and craft ~ with love, the Muellers

handmade scrappy bookmarks

taking a rest in my sewing stash

lavender sachets

The Nativity ~ by Gunnar

scrappy bookmark making

boy gift wrapping by foot

mixed nuts in the shell available with cobble stones for little hands to crack them open

~ lots of shells around these days

homemade cereal box gift tags

I wish I could give anyone reading this blog and praying for my family some of our homemade gifts but I can give you this note to share with you the goings on around here. I do truly love this time of year. I love the crafting, creating energy that goes on around here. Mostly motivated and prepared by moi. I don't know what I would do if the littles did not want to join in...although, it gets messy. That is the part that I don't really enjoy..If I am totally honest here. With each child, with each passing year, it gets easier but I have seen other mamas handle the messes so much more gracefully. Maybe I get more worn down, maybe I just begin to ignore the crumbs, paper bits and beads and glitter on the floor. It just becomes part of the house eventually. Maybe it is the payoff. Wonderful things created by my own and my children's own precious, curious little fumbly hands. Yes. That is the reason for it. I want that happening in my home no matter the cost of mess. I want it to happen more and will endeavor to create more opportunities for it.

I know I am not unlike any other "Elf" mama (or daddy) this time of year. The cooking, cleaning (seriously?...the swipe of this and that as I go is more like it), diapering and toy messes galore are there as usual but add to that more crafting than usual and gift wrapping and you have an entire home school with just all that on its own! Especially with the under 7 age set. At least we can cuddle up and read some favorite winter and Christmas storybooks too.

Some favorite ideas gleaned from the web are lavender/herbal sachets, scrappy bookmarks, peppermint lip balm (coming soon), and some knitting which I think I will post after Christmas. I want these things and other homemade ideas as they come, to be regular Christmas time traditions. Things that we want to do each year that never get old..well, while the children are young at least. Or maybe they would miss if I stopped? Kind of like if I stopped hugging and kissing my oldest boy....he acts like it is yucky but I know, he would just be hurt if I stopped. I want things we can be excited about making, wrapping and gifting to our friends and family and doing together. I can get so busy in making, buying, creating for my own that I have to take time to teach them to give as well and it is no small task. It does take lots of patience on my part but that would be another entire post on that subject alone. Children are a blessing and my own test me daily in a good way.

This time of year has a special caveat. Daddy is home and healing and mostly, he is home and we are together a lot...I like it this way. We are all well and together. We are all healthy and ready to celebrate again this year the timeless reality of our Saviour. The one gift that never gets worn out, never gets lost, never gets old, we never outgrow and it never disappoints or ever lets us go. (thank you Cornelia for that reminder)

As a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ you can rest in these words:

"I give them eternal life and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." ~John 10:28

Merry Christmas!!

MD Anderson Adopt-A-Family Holiday Wreath Auction

I have seen these wreathes in person when we were in the hospital almost two weeks ago. Some are fun, some are beautiful and some are wacky. Some are even cute. I had my eye on a few of them myself. While taking a lift on the shuttle one time through the Skybridge, the driver gave me the website to bid! Yippee! So, if you want to support MD Anderson, please look at the wreathes for bid here and have fun. They are artificial to enjoy again next year too and about 20" or standard wreath size I would say. You can read more about it on the link too.

The best part? Martin and I have an appointment for him on December 20th which is the date to pick up your wreath if you win. Nice eh? Of course, you will need to email me or post here if you win...I may forget to check! You can come visit us at home for coffee and pick it up. :-) Thank you for looking and Merry Christmas!

Why you should play Santa

This topic seems to go either way with parents. I have some friends who celebrate Santa Claus and some who do not for their children. The reasons are always varied. Some say that it can confuse the children about Jesus, the reason for celebrating Christmas, versus, making the holiday all about toys and a fictional round red suited fellow that slides down the chimney on Christmas Eve with gobs of toys. Some say that their parents did not "do" the Santa thing so they don't do it now for their children. Some perhaps just don't even want to bother. And some, embrace it a little too much to the exclusion of celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ who died as a substitute for us all to live forever in heaven home if we accept the grace gift of salvation for ourselves. (the full Gospel in one run on sentence!) That,of course, is the truth about Christmas.

To play Santa or not seems to be a complicated matter but I don't happen to think that it is to me anymore. Let me try to convince you why you should go ahead and play Santa this year if you don't already...and if you do get into it, make sure you keep it true. We certainly don't want to lie to our children.

There was a time that my husband and I would discuss it while Gun was a wee crawling baby on his first Christmas where he might have a curiosity to ask about all the lights, music and hullaballo. We talked about our families traditions and the above mentioned controversies. We wanted then and still do want, to present the truth to our children always. However, they are children. If you cannot embrace the fun of Santa as a child, can you ever? We pretend there are forest fairies and make believe with action figures but I don't interrupt and say, no, no, that is fiction! There are many opportunities to train our children to "keep in line" and Santa Claus is a great opportunity to suspend reality a bit in a fun and harmless way...a way to play with our children big time. For example, on Gun's first toddling Christmas, I even left a trail of candy and footprints on the stairs since our chimney was upstairs at the time in a cabin. We left the typical cookies and milk out for Santa which some of the folklore books call Santa's "lunch"...what? yeah, okay, not exactly a square lunch but ...moving on.... The next morning, the note to Santa that Gun and I composed was gone..the cookies and milk consumed....the wide eyed wonder on Gun's face was priceless.... We went with it and that was it. Since then, we have read the history of St. Nick and you can read that anywhere online or in books. He was a real person at one time so this is history and a bit of folklore and church politics (we don't share all of that at this age of course) which are valuable in their education cross culturally.

As far as the Lord Jesus Christ goes, we celebrate him weekly with study and daily with prayer in our home that confusion would be almost impossible. However, I do think the whole "whose naughty or nice" thing that Santa always seems to know sounds like God's omniscience. God is omniscient..not Santa Claus. Simple as that and I have had to decipher that for the children already. So we DO NOT say something like "you better be good or you will only get a lump of coal for Christmas"...now, good grief. That is ridiculous in my opinion. The compass of right and wrong and what is a sin and what is not is determined by God, not Santa. The focus on materialism that causes some parents to object can also be overcome. Here are some simple things you can do....

• Make many of your gifts ~ handmade things are always appreciated and loved best I believe and especially if born in the hands of a child. Go to The Crafty Crow, Soulemama and many other links from there for tons and tons of ideas for crafting creativeness fabulousness.


• Avoid the malls and t.v. commercials as much as possible~ they can really convince you of things you need to buy that you never before knew you were doing without or could create on your own with your children


• Avoid multiple visits, if any, to sit on Santa's lap to tell him what toys you want for Christmas. I have said to my children that the gift giving of Christmas is reminiscent and in memory of the three wise men bringing gifts to baby Jesus.


• We also have a nativity set and read the Christmas history from the Bible. We remind them often just what all this is about whenever we can or mention it when we see an opportunity.

So I say, go ahead, go for it, make a little make believe and if you need to,read about Santa Claus for yourself or your children, just go here for a quick read and share the highlights with them. This Wikipedia listing certainly goes into more detail that I have here.

With all this being said however, if you disagree, I accept that too. For now, it is still a free country!! Thank God.

Will you play Santa this year? What are some of your family traditions this Christmas?

Merry Christmas friends and family!

"mommy, what's holding the ground up?"

I love that I am home to hear these things that are mused upon while lying on the couch before daybreak because we had a 'bad dream about a monster' from my dear three year old. If I were rushed to get him and his older brother to a school in another location, these things would be passed by, ignored because we need to eat, get dressed, get your sister up, get out the door! ...now!! I am well aware there will be a time for this rushing out to make practice, meetings, dates, etc., etc....these are the foundation days to enjoy like a hot cup of tea..linger and savor the time at home. We are feathering the nest in this season of our lives. Here are some shots over the Christmas and Birthday season.

I just insist upon vintage glass Christmas ornaments. Good news, several casualties but no glass in any one's feet, hands, etc.

Twas the Night Before Christmas Marionette Playhouse at our house! I don't think the children noticed much when the puppeteer passed out to them her business card...I was mortified. It took away some of the magic for me. I wish she had told me she was going to do that....otherwise, it was delightful.

First the original reading and then a marionette interpretation with all the bells and whistles. Think 'Sound of Music' except the children do not perform....yet. ;-) I have dreams of making puppets and a theatre for ourselves in time.

The birthday boys. W3 on November 24th and G6 on December 11th.


For T1's First birthday, January 10th, I made her my first knit hat. It has since been altered to an elf hat...it was lots of fun to make though!

This is my gorgeous sister Rhonda and the birthday girl on her birthday. That morning, I woke up early just knowing I had to make her a warm, new appliqued poncho. It was a cold January day. She looks good in pink, no?

W3 constantly steals her hat.

Driving with the brothers.

soaking in the sun

I love post holiday sales. I am not crazy though..I go after most things have been picked over and hope to get lucky to find something fabulous like these Santa mugs. The boys can't wait to use them next Christmas.

Celebration day at Mimi and Poppy's house with all the cousins. My premiere video blog post! The ice cube trays held gobs of M & Ms for the kids to decorate her cake. Thanks to The Pioneer Woman Cooks for the cake idea. Do you see the love in Mimi's eyes?

(3a.m.)'Sometimes I cry a little bit'

As M was gathering up to make ready for work, I met him in the kitchen since I rise at 5:30am during the week to get ahead of the little ones and for my personal time. As I was sending him off, he tells me that G6 was up at 3am to tell him goodbye. (He thought daddy was already leaving for work then) Then what he said, made me still. He told his father that when he goes to work, 'sometimes I cry a little' and I worry about you. How precious. Stoking the fires to keep M moving and positive. A small reminder of the love here at home for him.

Healing. A long process.

Although raised by wonderful missionary parents who constantly remind me that things change, people change but God never changes!....M struggles, and so do I, with this healing 'phase' of cancer treatment. The facts are these. His mouth constantly re closes and seems to rebel against opening the more therapy and stretching that he imposes upon it. The Naturopathic doc is helping and the help is gentle but a lingering infection in his neck, probably difficult to kill because of his lack of lymph nodes (I am not sure) is preventing vigorous health. M is loaded up with great herbs, vitamins, minerals and nutrition but imagine.....I can cheat with nutrition..cookies and cake here and there...M does not eat these things (or rarely anyway since they won't fit in) and still, infections linger on. This one has sustained a good 5-6 weeks and I am concerned.

Earlier in the year, he developed necrosis. It is decaying, dying bone tissue resulting from the radiation. It is somewhere in his jaw and actually causes pain. It was a concern of the oncologists and now a concern of mine. M will be calling M.D. Anderson today I think. He has to keep the Naturopath in the loop with what these docs will be recommending. It requires M to be a real discerning consumer with a bunch of white coats which is challenging for most folks.

So now, I want to share more of his (Actually, I wrote this particular one about him which includes an inspiring article by Tony Snow that was very meaningful to him at the time and even now) inspiring testimony when he was in the thick of treatment last year. I know of one thing for sure. God honors obedience and faith in His perfect plan...no matter how imperfect we may perceive it.

How do I keep going? I blog, I knit, I craft, I nurture our children and home educate...I drink a little wine but most of all my soul is restored when reminded of God's perfect provision.

(photos courtesy of Schindewolf Road on Christmas Eve 2009)

An email from me, almost 14 days after M's first cancer surgery (August 26, 2008, 12:34am) :

Hello friends and family,
I am embarrassed because I know these emails I write late at night are shared with all my misspellings and scatological rambles but here it goes again. ;-)

Today was a busy day. Martin has begun to do even more for himself and this morning, it allowed me time to enjoy what Erica Stark made for me at breakfast. An English muffin half topped with a perfectly poached egg with sauteed carrots and spinach with a big bowl of fresh raspberries and blueberries and then a hot decaf cappuccino to sip...yummy!! I have told her that her care of me is the very reason I have not gotten sick since surgery and recovery. She says it is the Lord sustaining me and I believe that is true. I need my mommy friends to know that I, the caregiver, also have a wonderful caregiver in Erica as well as her family pitching in for errands. It is a tremendous comfort. You know me...give me good nutrition and I'm good to go! ;-)

Martin and I got to the hospital to meet the plastic surgeon...he said Martin's healing was coming along fabulously. We then went on to the clinic, one floor up to see about getting the trachea tube removed from his windpipe. Well...I feel like a dope for not calling on Friday to set up authorization from the head and neck surgeon so that we could do it today....we were waiting an hour in clinic while the nurse tried to get a hold of the doc's nurse..she finally did but we will have to meet the doc on Wed. and then he will decide to remove it or not....the plastics physician's assist. seemed to think it would be removed soon as well as the feeding tube. We have a barium swallow test tomorrow to determine so that is today, tomorrow and Wednesday that we go to the hospital...pray that Martin does not want to knock me out at some point..he hates not being the driver which he cannot be since I drug him regularly with hydrocodone for his pain and on top of that...he particularly does not like MY driving. Oh well...we got there in one piece today anyway. So anyhow, while we were waiting in clinic for an hour, I struck up a conversation with a couple that looked a little younger than us (well, they were about my age or a bit younger). I remembered them from the critical care floor where we were transferred after ICU. The husband, named Kyle, had similar bandages as Martin and I could tell was eager to meet someone (as was Martin) who really knew what it was like 'in his shoes'. Turns out, he had the same type of cancer and had over 70% of his tongue and under his tongue removed with a tumor and then had it 'rebuilt' using his forearm tissue on the same arm and same site as Martin. Both he and his wife had a wonderful attitude. He was a strapping 205 pound man who had lost 50+ pounds prior to surgery with radiation and chemotherapy which was unsuccessful in eradicating his tumor so then he had to do the surgery. A different path than Martin's but a positive result. They are returning home to Mississippi tomorrow and we plan to keep in touch via email.

Seriously, I pray for Martin's continued reliance and trust in the Lord's plan. He will need to stay focused when in mid September, the next chapter of chemo and/or radiation begins with a new set of side effects. He is my hero and I love him even more watching him cope with this thing called cancer.

If you have time, please read a wonderful piece written by Tony Snow prior to his eternal promotion after battling cancer. Here it is...it is wonderfully written and puts things much more eloquently than I do here.

Thank you all for continued warm emails and prayer support. Even the little children who know 'Gunnar's daddy' are praying for him.

with love,Traci

thank you Cathe Olson

Still Christmas preparation going on here....without stress...just anticipation and excitement. Teaching gratitude and sharing in our home.

Cranberry-Orange muffins made ahead, frozen, defrosted and popped in the oven or just defrosted room temp as mine asked for...breakfast is served.

Boy Joy

A couple of days ago, I was driving up our street to our house and a neighbor, a few doors down, had a pile of trash on the corner of the yard obviously for the garbage man to pick up today. I slammed on the brakes when I spied this treasure.


Today, with warmer temperatures and while T1 napped, the boys and I got sponges and soapy water and swabbed the deck! I just made two 'telescopes' out of copy paper and drew a skull and cross bones on each. Next we need a pirate flag I think. Handmade treasure maps are in progress now at the kitchen table as I type.


M and I think this may be the best Christmas gift of all...and of course, it was FREE. Look how shiny and new after a good scrub. They did not know what they had....or rather, their kids just outgrew it and they were more than happy to get it out of their way.


Still crafting away and hope to post a bit of the fruits of my labors sometime. Merry Christmas countdown friends.

Kiddie Records Christmas

There are so many things to post but I am busily crafting some handmade things over the last days and today as well...and tomorrow..until I am done whenever that is before Christmas! New stockings for all of us and one handmade thing for each child. I hope to post pics before wrapping them but as usual, I am getting very close to Christmas and may not get a chance to photograph and post before Christmas morning.

Don't forget to enjoy Kiddie Records here. There are several volumes of vintage Christmas stories to stream on your computer for your children (and you too)while you work...enjoy! My G6 LOVES this website..and W3 likes it too.