Nature is shifty

By this time of year, in October, I am in full swing itching for cooler days.  The funny part is that, while living here in Texas, as I always have, I find myself outside while children play with buzzing bees and mosquitoes and some sweat beading off your brow, needles in hand.  The sweat makes for easy hold on the woolly silk yarn but it just does not yet feel "right".  None of it.

I recall, two autumns ago (can we call it that in our three season state?  autumn?), when I first began deliberately homeschooling.  I was hot to trot to do a small unit on Fall Nature Study.  I am so out of touch with what goes on outside at times (I am mostly an indoor gal) that I thought we would roam the neighborhood, more like...just our street, and find new fall colors from fallen leaves..in October.  Not.  There was maybe a handful of lightly yellowing turned leaves to be had or they were brown and dried up or just plain green.  For me, it turned out to be more of a "don't hype up a lesson until you see if nature provides" kind of thing rather than a great lesson on why the leaves change color in fall.  I guess I should pay attention to where or what part of the country the author hails before implementing my nature study choices.  The viewpoint of the author...matters.  This is one of those little things that mama/teachers learn along the way.  Its a good thing really.  Actually, its these little reality checks in my school that keep me from getting too hyper about how well I am doing and all the other plagues of being a teacher/mama.  Am I doing enough?  Am I doing the right thing for the age group I have right now?  Blah, blah, blah.  The beauty, the lesson, is really in the questions.  Not necessarily my questions but, my "students" questions of course.

So I have found, with any lesson I do now, that while I keep the oldest one especially, the middle one somewhat and the littlest one "kinda" going along and following what I am teaching, I love, even happily anticipate, the questions.  I have had to teach the two oldest that they can only ask a question pertaining to the reading, lesson, etc., while I am doing it, save it for later otherwise because there are so many and that has been a lesson in itself!  I am talking about our group study work.  Bible, Science/Nature Study and History.  (Not to imply that my oldest is ready for me not to be near or at elbow for study...he needs me for sure when it comes to handwriting, spelling, reading lessons, math lessons)

Let's talk Science.  I recently purchased a download on SCM called 106 Days of Creation Studies.  I was struggling with implementing one of the five or so books on science experiments/projects that we own, into our weekly plan and it frustrated me.  I really love science although I did not progress very far in school with it.  The highest level I met was basic Chemistry I think?  I was an Art student.  I would love to have been more like Leonardo da Vinci with his multi talents in art and science but, my dear reader, that is why he was the great Leonardo.  We have read this fabulous bio on him here.  Anyway, I segway.  So back to yesterdays science/Bible lesson.  From the book, 106 Days...on creation day one, there is a unit on shadows.  We were to draw around our feet, on the pavement and then outline each others shadows.  We did it.  We came in, we ate lunch and other things and planned to return a few hours later to re-record our shadows from the point of our same feet in the same spot we had marked.  I quickly realized that mama chose a bad spot.  The house had blocked all bits of sunshine from the cloudy day.  Oops... what now?  They get out their bikes and begin to ride and play while I start thinking...do we just skip this lesson or move it to tomorrow?  No, I don't want to skip it, it is good.  The Bible verse associated with it here:

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. ~James 1:17

So I get out my knitting, begin to work and think.  I realized that I don't have to do the three times in a day shadow marking, as the lesson suggests, to make the point.  I can get a new tracing in a good spot, play out here for an hour and then retrace and voila, lesson activity will work!  Well, low and behold, an hour later, sweat beading down, children hungry and hot, we go to check and the same mass of clouds happily perched right over the sun.  We talked about how the clouds put the whole village (that is what we call our suburban neighborhood) in a big shadow.  I read the Bible verse.  I asked what did it mean?  Blank stares.  Not a bad thing, the blank stares.  I have had to learn this one though.  So, today, I will not be lecturing, I will perhaps re-read the verse after we again, go outside, in the sun, and playfully, twice over an hour, mark our shadows and show them so they can indeed, ask the questions.  The beauty is in the questions.  There are not any answers given in this study.  It is provoking.  I have my ideas of the authors intent.  I will try not to lead unless I have to but, I anticipate the shadows and the Word will show them the way.

Nature is shifty.  Families with gardens know this all too well.  I hope to have some kind of vegetable garden one day not just as example of wonderful lessons learned from a garden like patience, consistent care needed like weeding and watering and fighting off pests but also for the bounty and beauty we could grow in our own backyard.  We plan to start just simply cultivating the soil.  We will begin with a compost pile but I want it contained and that, for now, is the hang up.  Until then, it seems every deliberate "nature study" we embark upon may just give us those little lessons anyway...patience, unpredictability and successes and failures.  Like life, yes?

Surgery Prep in Martin's words

John 10 : 27-30

My sheep hear My voice and I know them and they follow Me

and I give eternal life to them and they will never perish and no one will snatch them out of My hand

My Father who has given them to Me is greater then all and no one is able to snatch them out of my Father's hand

I and the Father are one

John 3 : 15-16

so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life

For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Acts 16:31

Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved

Josh 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Prov 6:22

When you walk about Bible doctrine will guide you. When you sleep Bible doctrine will watch over and when you awake Bible doctrine will talk to you.


Hi everyone,

We are but a few days away from surgery and have had time to prepare, reflect and be thankful. Since it is the week of Thanksgiving, it is a good time to think about being thankful for everything.

We can be thankful that the gift of salvation is for all of us and that it requires no human input other then your volition and saying " I believe on the Lord Jesus Christ ".

We can be thankful that nothing can snatch us from the hand of God. This is a tremendous comfort and manifestation of eternal security.

We can be thankful for the logistical grace from God that sustains us every day.

We can be thankful for the extension of grace that we have to spend time with family and loved ones and to have the freedom to do so.

We can be thankful for our freedom that we have right now which is also an extension of His grace.

We approach my upcoming surgery on the 30th of November with peace of mind and a relaxed mental attitude. I will either wake up after surgery and see my wife or I will wake up in heaven. The Lord in eternity past took care of the details and we have faith in Him that all things will work out. Even if He takes me home, my wife and the kids will be provided for. That gives us confidence and hope.

My surgery will be somewhat involved and complex. They will remove half of my lower jaw that is dead or dying and all the tissue around it that has scar tissue and has not responded to any therapy. This is all a by product of radiation, the gift that keeps on giving. It will be replaced with a part of my leg (fibula bone) and donor tissue from my calf and thigh. They also plan to use a piece of titanium in the reconstruction phase. The estimated time for this surgery is about 8 hours, 3 hours to take out and 5 hours to rebuild.

At the same time, they will look and test for any new cancerous tumors that maybe in my mouth. If they do find cancer, they will have to modify the process and address that challenge as well.

After surgery, they will move me to the ICU unit for a period of time until I can be moved to the rehab floor to recover. The first 24-48 hours are critical in that the donor flap is monitored to make sure my body is not rejecting it.

One of the side effects of using my fibular bone is that I will tend to walk in circles due to the missing piece in my leg. Since it is my right leg that will have the fibular bone section removed, I will walk in only right circles......talk about hanging out with the right crowd! This will actually be very helpful for my wife because as I get older and more senile, all she has to do is throw me out into the back yard and I will wander around in circles and never be out of sight. Even the kids will be able to keep track of me.

As to the titanium plate, we were in luck. With the cancellation of the shuttle program at NASA, they have started to sell off or donate shuttle parts. We were able to get a piece from the wing in a trade for a teleprompter. NASA said that some guy in Washington needed the teleprompter as his died on 2 Nov, 2010. I also got a discount on the surgery by bringing my own tools for the surgeons to use. I had an extra Ryobi sawsall with extra batteries that will be quite handy.....not to mention the year supply of hurricane duct tape that we did not need due to global cooling.

The ongoing battle with the bone fracture and necrosis has effected me in the last weeks. My mouth has slowly closed to a point where my teeth are touching and no longer can be opened. I manage to stuff food through a small opening on one side where I am missing some teeth. I try to keep my mouth and teeth clean by using the water spray from the shower, a water pick and oral rinses that have antibiotics and cleaners in them. Even if with all that, I still have an infection that makes my daily routine an adventure.

My left side of my face has become quite swollen due to the dead bone and infection. This has spread into other areas of my mouth and made talking and swallowing a challenge. I look and feel like you know what.

I remember the good old days from about 6 weeks ago when I could still get my obturator out.....funny how 5 mm can be such a big deal.

Yet we are mandated in the Bible to be thankful in ALL things. A funny little quote from my dad puts it into perspective.

"When you are being thankful, you do not have time to complain". (He used a different word for complain....rhymes with itch)

I Thes 5:18

In everything give thanks for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I will not be sending out an email until after surgery. Traci will get the word out via our church, email and a few other contacts while I am in the ICU unit. I plan to email everyone once I am on the rehab floor of the hospital.

Attached is the photo of the man praying and being thankful. I love that print and wanted to pass it on again. Thanks in advance for the prayer support and encouragement.

Semper Fi

Martin, Traci, Gunnar, Winston and Tessa

PS ~ With exception of a few people I have spoken to specifically or unless I have been contacted personally, please DO NOT visit the hospital while Martin is in surgery/recovery. We would prefer privacy during this challenging healing time with plenty of room for rest and recooperation, minimizing germs during cold/flu season (that is not just for Martin but for visitors too...the hospital is the worst place to find every kind of germ imaginable), etc. and would embrace your full prayer support instead. Thank you for understanding and respecting our wishes. ~ Traci

Romans 8:28 ~ And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love (TRUST) God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Some thoughts on last year

Do you have somthing this cute rolling around in your lap and kitchen floor? Our T1, the blessing in our cancer trial of last year. She is the picture of radiant health.

My Ms struggles notwithstanding, in the wake of cancer, our entire family was and is deeply affected. I can only comment on my thoughts and struggles. You may have had the privilege to read some of his email updates for his own. Email me if I can forward some to you. As my father-in-law would say, my husband is 'a trophy of grace'.

So many thoughts have come and gone during Ms cancer treatment and to have chronicled them here would be a treasure and, very convenient. My thoughts continue and the cancer recovery continues like a never ending bad day. Daily, I pray for something that sounds perhaps silly to others..something like this...'dear Father in heaven, thank you for this new day, please allow my husband's mouth to open and stay open, in Jesus name, Amen!'. M uses so many modalities to work his tight muscles and ligaments including a Dynasplint, intraoral massage self and chiropractor initiated, acupuncture, topical massage with a hand held massage tool, various topical homeopathic remedies for muscle soreness and ..good ole oral pain killers. He is now investigating a new remedy used on horses by a veterinarian and looking at inflatable hobby craft tires to insert in his mouth to keep it open once he gets it fairly open from stretching. To add insult to injury, all the effort he takes, every single time, he is terribly sore and the nerves and muscles revolt with agonizing pain and new muscle tightness. M.D. Anderson docs are masters it seems at ridding those of cancer whom they can save, but the follow up and rehabilitation is severely lacking..sadly. M talked to a P.T. last week who had no ideas, did not have answers or creative solutions. I think they would be happy to just cut M and insert a gastric food tube than to get down and dirty like he has to solve this seemingly unsolvable problem.

Sobering...it really is tough to watch him. Its tough to feed the kids and eat in front of him knowing he would love to just eat normally. I know the man just wants some fried chicken! It is tough to make demands of him because his pain management and therapy comes first. He works so hard for us as it is and really is a tough warrior. I cannot complain that my husband is not who he used to be..he is in essentials. Thank God I married the man I did.

You know those flip books that you sit on your bathroom sink counter for daily inspiration? I gave my parents one for their 30Th wedding anniversary over 15 years ago and to this day, there it sits in my mother's kitchen, pages wrinkled from being turned while washing dishes, to the daily inspirational text and Scripture verse. Well, a friend gave us a new one when we arrived and began to settle in our new home last spring. As a homeschooling, home cooking, busy mother of three little ones, sometimes this little book really hits home with my quick glance to see what it has to say. Here it is:

(An interpretation of I Corinthians 10:13)

'No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.'

No test beyond what others have had to face? No test beyond what others have had to face? This thought just comforted me and stopped me in my busy day. My in-laws survived by the shirts on their backs, literally, Nazi invaded Europe...I saw others at M. D. Anderson that were severely disfigured from cancer and surgeries. We saw children who suffer under cancer's highly inconvenient and, crushing blow. The list goes on when thinking of what others have had to face in life. I don't think of them as 'whoa..glad that's not me!' because it could be me. Pitying others and self pity can be a slippery slope and, God defines it as sin. If we sin, we are not in fellowship with Him and cannot grow spiritually...I want to grow up. I really do! I focus forward. I constantly rebound my thinking on God, not on me. This is what I struggle with often and at our lowest moments when M is suffering terribly.

I had so many more waking thoughts this morning that I wish I had a computer on my head! I leave with this promise.

'All things you ask in prayer (in the filling of the Holy Spirit), believing, you shall receive. (Matt. 21:22)

I believe God has a wonderful plan for my husband, me and our three little ones. It is likely not my perfect ideas and plans. I just need to get out of His way and let Him do it.

Our littlest warrior has picked up her sword. She does have two older brothers! She must be tough!